All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
The problem with the gene pool is there is no lifeguard.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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